Yesterday I was shocked and appalled by the situation in front of me. Today, I am feeling a whole lot different.
After one of our classes today, I asked Mr. Lee if he could give me a clearer idea of what my role is meant to be in the classroom. My friend Jenna teaches at a public middle school in Osan and is basically the main teacher in charge of her English classes, creating all the lesson plans and materials, whereas I just seem to stand around. I was just having a difficult time grasping what I'm meant to be doing with these students. Mr. Lee did not really give me a straight answer but seemed to imply that he prefers to lead the class and that I am there in a support capacity, offering correct pronunciations and cultural insights.
Later, at lunch, I finally got to meet the foreign English teacher from Haseong Middle School, with which the high school shares a track and field and cafeteria. Her name is Abigail and she is from South Africa. It was such a relief to have a normal-speed conversation with someone after 4 days without it, but what was even better was the massive insight she was able to give me. Abigail is in her third (!!) year teaching at the middle school and said that Haseong is known as an area with slow learners (when it comes to English) because it is relatively rural/small-town and most of the students grow up knowing that they will probably remain in the area their whole lives and might go to university, but probably not. This actually reminded me of Warren quite a bit. In the minds of these students and their parents, English is simply not important and never will be. Many profess to hate English and hate being forced to take English classes (which certainly jibes with what I've been seeing... half of each class asleep at their desks with the Korean teacher not even trying to engage them or make them participate, let alone wake up). Abigail said that she used to get so stressed out trying to get her students to care because she thought that's what a good teacher is supposed to be able to do, and would end up going to the bathroom to cry. But after a while, she just accepted that the few good or interested students will make an effort and the rest, well... let them sleep, basically.
Abigail also told me that most Koreans will never tell you what they expect from you (which also jibes with various things I've read online; I guess it's a cultural thing) so you are often left feeling lost and floundering because the managing teachers simply will not have a direct conversation on this topic. This also helped explain Mr. Lee's reticence to answer my question earlier. In addition, she talked about the fact that Korean students are very rude, often yelling or playing on cell phones or sleeping in class, even with their Korean teachers, which is something I've also quickly noticed in just 3 days of classes. I mentioned to Abigail how shocked I've been by their behavior because of all the things I've heard about "respect for elders" and just knowing how Asian societies in general operate. Well, apparently Korea is the exception!! I guess both China and Japan have better student-teacher relationships, but many Korean students do not view teachers as respected authority figures. I still am having a hard time with this, it seems wrong somehow, but everything I've seen so far seems to back up what she is saying. When you add to all this the fact that Abigail works with middle school students, and I work with even older, more intransigent and hormonal students, it's no surprise that my classes are the way they are.
SO. I think the only way I'm going to make it through this year with my sanity intact is just to give in to it all. I will roll with it. I will go with it. I will do what is "expected" of me, and I will not try to change the mindset of these students, because frankly, at this point they know what they are interested in and what they are not, and if no one else cares, even the Korean teachers, then why the hell should I? It might result in an incredibly boring year with very little intellectual stimulation, but at the end of each month I'm still gonna get that beautiful paycheck and I will still have my nights and weekends to do what I want. I can't kill myself to make students learn that don't want to learn. There will always be those few students who really like English and I will do everything I can to help them improve. But the rest? Let them sleep. (What is the expression? You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink.)
Part of me feels like it's giving up, but the other part recognizes that I can't change things that simply will not be changed. It's in the culture. Haseong is not a city and the students have no desire or need to speak English in their everyday lives or in their future adult lives. So of course they don't care. I remember kids in Spanish class at Warren Area HS... they may not have been allowed to sleep or goof off like the kids here, but they were just as disinterested. Plus, it will be a (really) good thing to finally learn how to kick back and just accept something; go with it and not stress myself out. I just wish my job didn't have to end up being so boring in the process. Oh well.
*On a different and more amusing note: The few expressions that every student seems to know, regardless of how poor their English is and whether they are male or female:
-Handsome!
-Teacher, teacher!
-Hello, how are you, I am fine!
-I love you!
-You look like Beckham! (This is definitely my favorite one... it makes me smile despite having no kernel of truth... you'd be amazed at how often I hear it though.)
Some others that are not as common, but still heard frequently enough:
-You look like movie star!
-Show me the money!
-I will be back!
And of course: *giggle giggle giggle giggle*... usually done by groups of maniacal girls with their hands over their mouths like some kind of anime cartoon.
I have never been so ready for a weekend in my entire life.
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