One of the things that sucks most about becoming an adult: the only thing you know for sure is that you don't know anything for sure. I have always been an obsesser over some vague nebulous time called "the future" (what future? 6 months from now? 1 year? 5? 10? 30?) and I drive myself crazy extrapolating and number-crunching and estimating and assuming and guessing and it's all just really a big waste of mental time and energy in the end because guess what? WE DON'T KNOW ANYTHING!!! It's the curse and, I suppose, maybe, the blessing of being human, that we can't see the future. So we need to try and live as fully in the present moment as possible or we just end up really unhappy. I wish I could say that I'm better at this than I really am. I am working on it. I have a feeling I'll always be working on it. Bleeeehhh.
One other thing I know for sure (Do I contradict myself? Very well then, I contradict myself): Teaching English is not a job I am meant to spend my life doing. I know it's not good to wish life away by wanting it to go faster, but I cannot wait until the next 10 months are over with so I can do something different. This is just not the job for me. At least I know that much.
Huh! For the first few months of being a new mom, I wasn't so sure if I was cut out for the task. I began wishing time to move along faster. Surreal thing is, in reflection, it went by much too fast. I found my stride, as a mom (not that I'm saying I was good at it) by the time the third one came along. Perhaps teaching to Koreans is more what you're not meant to spend your life doing. Hang in there. Perhaps you're there to show that Americans aren't all bad. Love you~
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