Summer Vacation, Part 1

I already miss it.

I've been back in school for 1 week.  Only one week, which has somehow managed to feel much slower and longer than the entire 2.5 weeks I had off for summer vacation.  I still can't believe how quickly it came and went, but as they say, time flies when you're having fun, and I definitely had a LOT of fun.  I'd love to say it was nothing but fun; unfortunately, that would be a lie.  Certain aspects of my vacation carried serious heft and weight, which is why I haven't written about it until now.  But I figured I should at least talk about the good stuff before too much time passes and my memories aren't as crisp.

Monday, August 2:  Matty arrived at Incheon International Airport in the evening and I went to pick him up there after shopping for some new clothes and getting myself a cute "Asian haircut."  (My hair guy, Min, always wants to try something new and different and since I usually don't experiment with my hair, at least not since I turned 21, I figured why not?)  I'm not sure I've ever been so happy to see someone.  We went straight to the Avis counter to pick up our Hyundai rental car.  It's hard to believe we actually spent the next week driving on the crazy roads in this country.

Don't worry, that's kilometers on the dial, not miles  :)

Tuesday, August 3:  We spent most of Day 2 driving from one coast to the other.  The trip from Haseong to the East Sea was surprisingly long, probably because we got started a bit late and because the highway wound through the Seorak Mountains.  This was the day that the oddities of driving around Korea began to present themselves to Matty and me.  The expressways that crisscross the country are different from the other, regular highways, in that they are much more direct and clearly intended for speed, but the trade-off is that there are hardly any exits.  If you miss your exit, you will end up tacking an additional half hour or more onto your trip that day.  And missing an exit is easier than you would think, thanks to the GPS Lady From Hell.  We cursed our GPS Lady From Hell at least once per day, if not more.  I sometimes think she liked screwing with us on purpose.  "Stay to the left lane." ...30 seconds later: "In 100 meters, exit on your right."  Seriously, what a bitch  :-P

Gyeongpo Beach is also the proud home of a Thomas
Edison phonograph museum.  At first I wondered why.
Then I remembered that this is Korea.  I should know
by now that "why" is always a pointless question.

We reached Gyeongpo Beach in the early evening, which Lonely Planet told us was a beautiful white-sand beach, but of course we all know that Lonely Planet can, on occasion, be a big fat liar.  The beach was packed and the sand seriously felt like rough gravel.  This combined with the fact that it was also gloomy and overcast sent us quickly back to the car and on the road, but not before taking a few photos.

We were going to stay the night in a coastal city a little further south called Samcheok, but on our way there I decided I really wanted to see Hwanseongul, a giant cave about 30 km inland.  So we drove into the mountains and stayed the night at a small 민박 (minbak, or guesthouse) so that we could get to the cave as soon as it opened at 8.30 in the morning.  What with the first 2 weeks in August being the peak tourist and vacation season, I really wanted to beat the crowds.

Our 민박 in the morning.  If I look a bit dirty and unshowered, it's because the place had no hot water.  Epic fail.

The cable car up the mountain.

Wednesday, August 4:  Matty and I got to Hwanseongul as early as we could and rode the cable car up a very steep incline to the giant maw of a cave just gaping open on the middle of a mountainside.  Quite random that anyone discovered the place, but even more random what we found inside.  This cave was utterly freaking huge.  I have never seen anything like it.  Fully 2 kilometers of metal walkways stretched back into the cave, guiding tourists past unbelievable rock formations, pools and crevasses.  It was seriously awesome.  The whole thing was made even better by the fact that every formation or waterfall or pool was given a ridiculous name, like "Desire Falls", "Pool of Hell", "Claw of the Demon", and "Palace of Dreams".  It was also a huge relief to step out of the intensely hot and humid weather into an environment that was easily 30-40 degrees cooler.  When we finally stepped back out into the sun after an hour and a half inside the cave, it was quite literally like running into a wall of heat and moisture.  It's amazing that the temperature inside a cave can be so consistent and naturally regulated.

Once we were back on the road, we made a beeline back to the coast and drove to Haesindang Park in Sinnam, also colloquially known as "Penis Park."  Sinnam is just a tiny fishing village and the story goes that back in the day, a virgin committed suicide by flinging herself off a cliff, despondent over her betrothed, a fisherman, being lost at sea.  After her death, the village fishermen were unable to catch any fish and the people thought they were cursed.  One day, a fisherman "relieved himself" into the sea and suddenly caught a full net.  So basically, the village overcame the curse through random dudes masturbating into the ocean.

In the years since, the village has constructed a giant park on the cliffside, filled to the brim with statues of penises and masturbating fishermen and shrines to the virgin in an effort to appease her ghost.  It is a wondrously bizarre sight, especially in the middle of nowhere in Korea, and something I can honestly say I've never seen anywhere else.  Some of the penis statues were downright creepy.  The natural scenery was pretty incredible though.  I'm not sure if ironic is the right word for that, but it sure deserves some kind of equivalent adjective.

This "penis cannon" even moved up and down!

Having seen quite enough male genitalia for one afternoon, we continued down the coastal highway toward Busan, our destination for the evening.  Along the way, we made one more stop at Bulguksa Temple in Gyeongju, the city where the largest number of ancient Korean historical sites can be found.

I hate saying things like this, but temples and palaces in Korea are like cathedrals in western Europe and ancient ruins in Greece... once you've seen a couple, you've basically seen them all.  Bulguksa was cool but it was exactly like the temples and palaces I've seen in Seoul.  At least Matty got to see a Korean temple though.  After we left Gyeongju, we made it the rest of the way to Busan, the second largest city in Korea.  My first time driving in a legitimate Korean city was fairly nightmarish... I'm sure Matty will be haunted by the mental image of me freaking out as we got quite literally stuck in a narrow alleyway between a grip of cars.  The insane drivers and pedestrians were a bit much to handle.  I have never been so relieved to find a motel.  We ended up staying at a "love motel," since they are the only cheap hotels that are guaranteed to have parking spaces (the parking spaces are hidden behind a curtain of ropes in order to protect the identities of the Koreans who sneak to these places to have tawdry, illicit affairs).  Love motels rent by the hour but also by the night... only about $35 - $40 per night and really nice accommodations.  The Romeo Motel (yes, that was its name) was definitely the nicest place we stayed all week.  Huge bed and TV, giant bathtub and shower that is also a steam room, free coffee and toothbrushes and AIR CONDITIONING.  Never underestimate the value of good A/C when it's 90 degrees and 95% humidity.

Thursday, August 5:  After so much driving the past 2 days, Matty and I spent the day wandering Busan not doing a whole lot.  More Korean food for lunch, a stop at Haagen-Dazs, and Matty's first trip to a DVD bang.  He agreed with me that we should really have DVD bangs in the States because everyone should have a place to go and watch a movie in their own personal theater.  We also hit up Haeundae Beach, which is the busiest beach in Korea.  Beaches are a funny thing in this country.  First of all, the number of Koreans that can't swim is ridiculously large considering the country is surrounded by water on 3 sides; hence the plethora of inner tubes.  Second, with the exception of foreigners and Korean guys in their twenties who are really ripped, no one removes their shirts or other items of clothing when laying out on the sand or even when swimming.  I'm not totally sure if this is due to modesty or the fact that whiter skin is more desirable in Korea and people don't want to get a tan.  Either way, it's kind of hilarious to see hundreds upon hundreds of people jumping into the ocean fully clothed.

Friday, August 6:  We left Busan and the Romeo Motel early and traveled along the southern coast to a random, out-of-the-way beach in a village called Sangju.  It was more than an hour off the expressway, all the way at the bottom of a long peninsula, and the isolation meant that the beach wasn't anywhere near as crowded as Haeundae or another beach in Busan.  It was still busy, just not insane.  We ate a straight-up seafood lunch (I mean real seafood) and then hit the sand.  We were definitely the only foreigners on the entire beach, as well as the only people with their shirts off, so I think we were quite the source of amusement for a lot of beachgoers.  The beach was freaking amazing, in the sense that the ocean was like bathwater.  Like Indian Ocean/Caribbean Sea levels of warm.  It was so warm that even Matty went swimming, and he hadn't been in an ocean in over a decade.  After a few hours of 

swimming and sun, we drove past some incredible views back to the expressway and then started the long trip back to Haseong.  It's pretty amazing that we went from the far southeast corner of the country to the far northwest corner in just about 5 hours.  Korea really is quite a small country.  On the way home, we stopped at a rest stop on the expressway for dinner and had the most amazing kimchi bogeumbap (think kimchi mixed with fried rice and vegetables with a fried egg on top).  Matty was somewhat bemused that the best meal he ate during his entire time in Korea was at a highway rest area.  Seriously, go figure.

Giving Jen a kiss in Haebongcheon.

Saturday & Sunday, August 7-8:  The weekend, as nearly all my weekends, was spent in Seoul.  It was great having Matty meet my friends and everyone was excited to finally put a face to his name.  We met Anne in Myeong-dong to do a tiny bit of clothes shopping for Matty and then the 3 of us met up with Jen and Amanda for Korean BBQ.  Fortunately, Matty gave up being a vegetarian a few months ago so he was able to fully enjoy the wonders of Korean BBQ (with soju naturally).  Afterwards, we all went out together and met up with the rest of my friends in the Haebongcheon neighborhood for drinks before going dancing on Homo Hill in Itaewon.  The night was really fun until the last few hours of consciousness, when one of my friends turned into a raging asshole.  Matty and I also had a really long and intense conversation that essentially put a cap on our relationship, which is still fairly sad and depressing one month later.  The outcome was probably inevitable, but it doesn't make it any easier.  We've only spoken once since he left Korea and I really miss him.

(l-r): Cara, Amanda, Matty, and me getting
EATEN ALIVE!!!

Monday, August 9:  Matty and I drove back to Seoul to visit the Insa-dong neighborhood, where all the tourist shops and art galleries are located, and ate lunch at a vegan restaurant which I think Matty found relatively underwhelming.  Afterwards, we picked up Amanda and her sister, Cara, who was visiting from NY, in the rental car and drove to Gangnam, a really expensive area that has a kind of Madison-Avenue-of-Seoul vibe to it.  We went there specifically to visit the most bizarre coffee shop on planet Earth, in which you can order coffee and cakes and muffins and meet with friends and work on your laptop and, I shit you not, dunk your feet into pools of water and have tiny little fish called "doctor fish" nibble away at your skin.  

It was one of the freakiest and most awesome things I've ever done.  I could barely keep my feet in the pool because it tickled so much when the fish would bite at your toes or the soles of your feet.  I was laughing hysterically but I was determined to keep my feet in there for the full 15 minutes.  After we were finished, I had skin flaking off the tops and bottoms of my feet and I swear to you my feet have never felt so soft.  I didn't want to put my dirty flip flops back on and go tramping around the filthy city because it just felt so nice.  Too bad most people in the US will never get to experience this since 16 states have already outlawed it for being "unsanitary."  Apparently there's no proof that the fish don't transfer fungus from one foot to another.  To that I ask, what proof is there that they do?!  There really is such a thing as being overcautious and I think this is definitely an example of overreaction.  No pedicure should be complete without some doctor fish  :)

After such a stimulating afternoon, what's left to do but go to an underground mall and take photos with utterly absurd, nonsensical, badly translated Korean t-shirts?

Tuesday, August 10:  I drove Matty to the airport in the most insane storm I have been in since the one time in high school in Warren when Michael and I had to literally pull over to the side of the road because it was raining so hard.  If I wasn't so sure that someone would have sideswiped us, I probably would have pulled over this time as well.  The downpour was out of control.  But weirdly, nothing but blue skies at the airport, and Matty's flight left with nary a hitch.  It was the end of an awesome week with some not-so-awesome elements, and in only 2 more days, I would be back at the airport ready for my trip to Hong Kong.  More to come in Part 2...